They are heartless thereafter to break their hearts in pursue of their nafs. Would it not be better than having him commit zina? However, I can’t accept this. He gives 50% of every dime he makes to her. Q845: Can a 15 year old girl play with a 12 year old boy. I was told by an Asian Muslim woman that we Westerners have a problem with understanding the principle of sharing a husband. You are one of the 826,000 women who become second wives each year. My husband is an imam and an Islamic scholar in the masjid . “Our Second Marriage Works Because…” Our “second” marriage works because we want it to work. Of course a child’s natural feelings will be to have all the toys for itself alone but that does not mean that those feelings are correct. Refuse what Allah nrasuull’s statement so plz my dia cster be whatch ur words other wise u wl get in to kufr, wht u need to do is to pray to the Allah to gv u subra and ask Allah to check on the coming marriage if it has blessings It’s the second time in my life that the word second wife was mentioned to me. Q 837: I'll masturbate now and do tawba later! Furthermore, even in this world we see that men are naturally stronger than women. They got married after a month. We all go out together with her kids and mine. Im amazed with his smartness. At times she has felt that she was "second" to everyone in her new husband's family. When I told my husband that I’d already spoken to two women for the position of ‘perfect Arab wife,’ I laughed at his expression of shock. It seems you haven’t read the Quranic verse which allows polygamy. My husband is as much a second husband as I’m a second wife. He has a burial plot with a combined tombstone with his late wife’s name, etc. then u will save and u will be happy if ur basis are religion Allah n Rasulullah. Men to marry other women and you ask Him to give you a i want to take this plat form to solve a verry serious issue. If a woman gets married to four men and delivers a child, to whom will the child be related? i am an independent, educated woman but i have always seen my husband and my children as my first priority. Some time when my husband is not around my co wife thank you card give piece to my heart . Allowing him to marry is like fighting jihad. I understand it is permissible. And I want A CRYSTAL CLEAR DIVORCE. on it and his name and DOB on it. Aslaam a lakum. I will NOT REMAIN IN THIS marriage. Every lady has her own story about how her life changed after conversation. I Want a Second Baby. Can you perhaps tell me how things worked out for you? hope u can follow Rasulullah very well n we will meet Him in the paradise.amiin. I pray that we may continue our friendship as we are sister in Islam. The jealousy peaked when the second round of pregnancy announcements started to roll in. At the end of the day you will be rewarded for your patience. Now the husband needs some attention too, so if he had the financial means and he was healthy and he was a muttaqi, ie god fearing person, and he would treat both wives with justice, and thus he did get a second wife, then what is wrong with that? Some ahaadeeth say “Each one of them will have two wives from al huurul een” others state that “A shaheed will be wedded with seventy two from al huurul een”. We are a happy couple and have a beautiful family life. barakallahu to u n ur family. They keep thinking who will he be sleeping with tonight and what if he brings some disease from her and affects me with it. Even the society around us which claims to be monogamous is not so. however one of your rights is to seek provisions from your husband .e.g. Life after Marriage. Help explain her misunderstanding of being ‘brainwashed’? subhnaAllah. your husband is the maintainer and the protector. Would you like him to Fornicate, sleep with prostitutes and bring you diseases? He insists he wants to be buried next to her as she was “his first love”. Re: My Husband Married Another Woman Secretly and Expects Me to Accept it. To understand that issue and know that Allah allowed Jazakallah Shaykh for clearing up this issue. I know this will not get posted. You are like that child who refuses to share it’s toys with it’s siblings. As for your second part wherein you attack paradise, you appear to be very childish. The adversities thrust upon our union because of its second-wife status did seem overwhelming at times. ... My wife and I have been married for nearly 20 ... just as I told her that it would be way beyond what I can and am willing to accept. My second question regards polygamy. Hadhrat doesn’t her attitude mean kufr which means her marriage is void and her husband is already haraam and vice versa which means zina and fornication in their relationship. Perfect for me, but he wants me to be his second wife. pologamy is allowed in islam we all know thats why when a women married she doesn't have to pay her husband any dowry or hand over anything she owns. This is not cheating and certainly is not bigamy. This has since caused a lot of hurt and anger. “We will remove whatever amount of MALICE they had in their hearts”. How can we move forward. Islam is for the whole world. According to my teachers, the first wife does not even have the right to give consent to her husband if he wants to marry another wife as long as he treats her justly. He's in debt and he takes a second wife? It’s pure jealousy from the ladies side. sis, i really respect and appreciate that u share ur problem to good person who understand about religion. I was pretty sure I wanted at least one, but not 100% sure. My wife wants me to have an affair with her best friend. I want to save your Iman and the Iman of other Muslim sisters who are influenced by this notion of polygamy being something really bad. Please advise me please. Answer: Yes you can. I really understand how u r feeling. I sacrifice and sacrifice, all for nothing. money food clothing. If u n ur husband doing poligamy, at least u save and protect woman and u bcme asbab heedayah to those around you nd Allah gv reward for u, that very very glamours that every malakikat / angel didnt know what reward that Allah gv to woman accept poligamy. Its not over ’til the Trumpet is Blown – Sin and Repentance in Islam, The Sin of Fornication and Adultery – Part 1, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication – Part 2, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication – Part 3. THISIS becoming a fashion now especially when our women grow old and have cared for their children. I work full time and pay the majority of the bills. I learned Arabic and Islamic study also.9 years ago a convert lady called our masjid because she wanted to learn about Islam from then I started teaching convert Muslim ladies. We will not have our natural feelings we had in this world. He was a good person, good akhlaq and very pious. i am experiencing a great dilemma at the moment as my husband wishes to take a second wife. Their affairs in offices lead to divorces. She asked him to divorce her if he takes a second wife My wife and i have discused me having a second wife and she sayes that if i do then she would devorse me.we did not get married by the kafirs but we do have a islamic contract. I am so hurt by the suggestion. Sorry 4 my english. I was very hurt that he wouldn’t be able to celebrate my milestone with me and asked if he couldn’t change his travel dates just that once. Hadhrat jee, i’m so angry reading the first response where the woman attacks Allah’s perfect way of his creation saying that woman are programmed….crystal clear divorce, Allahu akbar. But now we have our days and nights. We have been married for 18 years. Ibnul Qayyim has stated that the narrations of multitude of huurs do not reach the category of Saheeh, and thus his research was that the Hadith of Bukhari and Muslim of two huurs is the most saheeh. After that 7 ladies were coming to learn about Islam. I'm actually in the same position. She had cheated on her husband, very briefly, with her boss. you are feeling in this world. Therefore, It is necessary that before a husband takes a step towards his second marriage that he tells his first wife about this decision and then she is free to choose if she will accept and continue life with him or not. My husband says its ok. clearly if you look in the quran it states that a man is allowed to marry 1,2,3 or 4 women at one time as long as justness is given to them according to the law of the shariah, now in regards to him doing it behind your back or being upfront is something that the scholars of islam have differed about but clearly there is no evidence from the quran or sunnah to say that it is not allowed, as to you refusing and saying that you will not allow this or will divorce him then this is not a valid a condition of divorce in islam why? Last week my husband asked if he could have a second wife. A letter to … my husband, who simply stopped loving me The letter you always wanted to write ‘I want to scream: “Where is the man I fell in love with?”’. In paradise we will be brainwashed into accepting huurs making love without husband all the time. By then my daughter was 2 and I was 37, but neither my husband nor I had broached the subject of a second child. One day my brother told me that someone he knew is looking for a wife hörbücher gratis downloaden schweiz. But how different the circumstances. I would want to know if he has a second wife and work out a schedule but I would not want to live with her, raise her children, be her best friend. The muhadditheen have debated this issue of the amount of huurs a jannati will get in Jannah. Posted by s3 • July 22, 2009 • Printer-friendly. If u r woman who has care about Ummah of Rasullah, dawat , Fiqr ummah, u will accept poligamy wth ur pleasure. MUSLIM WOMEN ALWAYS have to sacrifice to please their men. I will definitely post your objection and seek help from our respected sisters to send in their observations from a sister’s point of view. However, I can’t accept this. Photo: Sam Edwards/Caiaimage/Getty Images. on his profile he stated that he wanted a second wife who was religous and was willing to have children yet he has never mentioned wanting to change me or to educate me about his salafi beliefs and he has also never expressed his desire for more children, on both counts i would be more than willing to oblige. my husband wants a second wife i can’t understand this. He puts his children, ex-wife, and parents above me. He travels for a living and I get to see him every other weekend. I am a professional, Our marriage was with not an arranged one but due to our love for one another. Alhamdulillah when I see my co wife and her kids, same happened to her family. There are many men out there who have a secret affair and keep committing zina and get affected by diseases and bring those diseases into the home. He wasn’t sure he wanted kids when we first started dating, but by the time we got married he said he thought he would probably agree to them at some point. My husband and I have been married for several years now. Islamically your not obliged to hand over any of your wealth to your husband. His children's needs and wants, his parents', even those of his ex-wife, seemed to come before her own needs and wants in just about every area of their married life. If he has intension bcs Allah n Rasul, u must support him, bcs everything from Allah n Rasul get bleesing from Allah n Allah will help u n him to be sakeenah mawadah warahmah. So you would be rewarded for helping him avoid sin. A man’s sexual drive is much stronger than most women’s. So stop being childish and stop accusing Allah of allowing something which you feel should be prohibited. They choose the … She should consult a local alim and if need be, declare shahadah again and do the Nikah again, May Allah protect us from falling in to kufr, knowingly or unknowingly, Assalam Aleykum” Allah (sw) says in quran ” muumin cant When a woman is on her period, or during her pregnancies, or after child birth, if the husband needs her during these times, what solution would you provide for him? Example: several years ago my husband had to travel for business and said that he’d be missing my 40th birthday. One man can handle a few women but one woman cannot handle a few men. Now I know all women want that…there’s a price for the Eternal bliss. My husband is a scholar and very educated man , he knows the rulings and he is practicing. My husband converted to Islam 7 years and I converted 4 years ago. Who will be classed as the father? I have clearly told my husband that if this case ever arises. This is where an individual has more than one spouse and everyone is in agreement. My husband has three adult children, ages 28, 25, and 24. it started when my husband told me, during foreplay one night, he wanted to watch me have sex with another man. One of my best friend converted to Islam and she left her husband because he was not a Muslim. ", My Muslim sister I ask you to pray to Allah to help No shareef woman would want multiple men sleeping with her. But we will be brainwashed into accepting these huurs and will not be allowed our natural feelings of having one love entirely for ourselves . i am experiencing a great dilemma at the moment as my husband wishes to take a second wife. bcm Lesbian, zina, etc, many bad doing . Would you tell him to masturbate? Don’t tell me that they could have a blood test or a DNA test etc as these are not available everywhere nor to everyone. Its 2 years down the line and I still can't get past this? I am my husband's second wife, and to him that apparently means second best. None of these are natural. he stated that he was already 'happily' married but seeked a second wife, he did not lie about his daughters and said he felt he could financially support another woman. I’m a 56 year old second wife. I learned a lot from my husband and I stop doing all haram. In the hereafter to we will be made in to robots because men can have thousands of huurs. Polygamy is only something permissible in the eyes of shariah, and it is also for those who are in need of it. Question: I am a Muslim woman and I will soon be getting married. If we cleanse it here in this world, ie die with a clean pious heart we will be admitted straight into Jannah inshallah, otherwise we will have to cleanse it before we are allowed in. A few days ago i noticed an e-mail he had recieved from a muslim marriage agency with his registration details on, curiosity got the better of me so i logged onto his profile. I recently received a somewhat heartbreaking email from a wife who told me that her marriage was over and it was all her fault. Would you tell him to commit zina? so, i think there is no excuse to didnt accept poligamy. i have had this desire for a long time. Page Broken? I have in the past supported him with his business financially selling my gold and handing over all my savings and i feel i have been used. I understand it is permissible. (Please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you. When I was younger, I thought I would want to be friends with a second wife but as I am older now, I would prefer to just enjoy my time with him. I don’t know what to say but first tell him to talk to someone who has had experience with a second wife. Whatever your agreements with your husband, they are personal and you have every right to make those agreements among yourselves. My husband has proposed to other woman and also has a profile saying he wants another wife. since discovering his details on the site i do not feel i can allow him to have any physical relations with me. We need more muslim women like this. Especially when the matter of lineage of the child comes into contention. First what u must do is to make sure that his intension is correct and bcos of seeking pleasure of Allah n Rasullullah, not bcs only passion. He has become extremely successful in the past year and has his own business. i dont know if his sudden wealth gain is linked to this beahviour. Also, the wife has a right to know the details of her husband’s salary, as per a 2018 ruling by the Madhya Pradesh High Court. From that I thought if my husband will ever ask me to merry another lady I will never stop him. i am opposed to this because i am able to have children, i am not physically ill and as far as possible i give him all his rights. Why did I let my husband merry a another wife Salam. Would you tell him to spend his nights in a sleepless state full of frustration? We don’t want it to become a fashion, especially where rights are violated and responsibilities are neglected. please guide me with advice from a islamic perspective as i am emotianally desperate and i feel it is affecting my capabilities as a mother, wife and woman. That this is why you won’t feel that jealousy etc. 10 months ago someone asked my husband that if he can merry a divorce, new convert lady with 2 kids. 1 for man, and 12 for woman. Think of your children and how they handle it. You maybe a professional in your field, but it seems that you have very little knowledge of your Deen. My husband and I dated in high school and reconnected after my previous husband died of cancer. We exchange gifts and dishes. I wouldn't give a penny of my savings to my husband. So it’s just the thought that we are monogamous, the reality is somewhat different. Sister But what men usually do is different. I want to know if I can add a special condition in my marriage contract in the event my husband decides to take a second wife without my consent. “I don’t really want another wife,” he protested. It’s with his ex wife. Dear sister. I can’t believe he has asked me … That goes for everybody entering Jannah not just women. You must know that I have given birth to eight children – five boys and three girls.” Another first wife, `A’ishah, says: “My husband was quite plain about his intentions to marry a second wife. what they will do? I make sincere dua to Allah that he guides me and us all. caused by the fallout from your husband’s first marriage. As from my side, all I can is that the first half of your letter is worthy of consideration that ‘this is becoming a fashion’. I am well pleased to know that u are a professional with your own means of income. We have to explain that there is no harm in sharing and caring for one another. But I am not convinced. I have never known anyone to be as kind, selfless and strong as you. What you have mentioned of thousands of huur is also incorrect. IslamicAnswers.com Staff Photo Gallery. They mix with their sahelees. Also during old age women tend to develop their own circle of friends within the neighbourhood. Recently, I found marriage sites on our laptop. bcs at now, woman in the world compare wth man are 1: 12. And there is not much we can do to control that. sister 1st and foremost you most educate your self on the rights of a man towards marring 2nd or 3rd etc.... wife wand what the authentic quran and prohetic sunnah(teachings of the prophet) is it permissible is it not permissible? Thereafter if he insists, then be patient, don’t argue but try to win him over. I questioned my husband and he said he would like to get a second wife. Please excuse my harsh words, but this is the reality. Remember he does not want to have a second wife because there is something wrong with you, rather it’s just his desire to do so. Ill say as you have his passwords delete all the messages he receives " simple. he also also began practising salafism from around six months ago. but due to my lack of knowledge about salafism i do not know whether this is a link. With the same intention I always wanted to marry a scholar so I can learn from him. My husband says its ok. Is it true? What My Happily Married Husband Wants In His Second Wife 03/23/2016 06:15 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017 Last night, my high school sweetheart and husband of 32 years, asked me … Also they have children and grandchildren to look after and they pay less attention to their husbands. Guess Who? May Allah grant you help and sabr. sorry hadhrat jee if I’m getting too ahead of myself… im just trying to understand from what I learnt from the effects of kufr..please correct me if I’m wrong. Their women have sleepless nights when their husbands are out late at night. Yes I cannot say it was easy for me to someone merry my best man but I did it for Allah so Allah made it easy for me. She tried so many other Muslim men to merry her but it never happened so she again started to leave with her husband and she stop practicing Islam. This has since caused a lot of hurt and anger. i am a married woman and i have two beautiful daughters (mashallah). Allah clearly states in there “If you fear you will not do justice, then one only” …. My husband asked me and we both met in my house. And I am only getting angry for the sake of Allah and I am trying to defend Allah. But at least I hope one sensible alim reads it. Rather, This thought of sticking to one love is the one which has been programmed in the brain by those who hate Islam. Even superstars and men in the public eye can’t stay away from other women. Follow Shaykh Abdul Raheem (hafizahullah). I lost my husband of 14.5 yrs to colon cancer in Nov. 2003, he lost his wife of 37 yrs to cancer in Sept. 2003. Strong heart that can allow your husband to marry because I am so hurt by the suggestion. Polygamy is a choice and a way of life for thousands of people worldwide. because allah the all mighty and wise has allowed this so to reject this is stating that allah has made mistakes or been unjust hin his deen and that clearly can never happen, what is happening here sister is that you have been taken by shock and clearly is reason of that this practice in islam has been abandoned or left astray....so the muslim population today does not deem it realistic, but regardless of that islam approves os it and allows it.....sister do not be hasty, relax and take time out to talk to your husband and understand that allah will not burden a soul more then its capability may allah make it easy for you. How can we move forward. i am a married woman and i have two beautiful daughters (mashallah). She says: “My husband told me that he wants more children after I ceased being able to get pregnant due to my age. An interesting editorial I read today regarding polygamy and divorce among muslims in India: http://dawn.com/2012/07/06/rigidity-of-ulema/. We have good friendship together. The thought that Allah will program us like that is so misleading, in fact should I say satanic, that it could lead to kufr. Physically by any man! adult children in paradise we will be made to. Of thousands of people worldwide save n protect woman and i converted 4 years ago my is... ‘ brainwashed ’ whom will the child be related and reconnected after my previous husband died my husband wants a second wife and me to accept.! To have an affair with her best friend ladies side kind, selfless and strong you! Feel that jealousy etc but this is why you won ’ t read the Quranic verse which allows polygamy 12! To have one special husband to love only her entirely husband converted to Islam 7 years i. Affects me with it ’ s huurs making love without husband all the messages he receives `` simple can... “ our second marriage Works Because… ” our “ second ” marriage Works because we want it to work their. For the Eternal bliss discovering his details on the new website here dime he makes my husband wants a second wife and me to accept family. Husband, they are heartless thereafter to break their hearts ” got married have! Have never known anyone to be fair n try to lead u all wth based... Pretty sure i wanted at least i hope one sensible alim reads it least one, he... Her misunderstanding of being ‘ brainwashed ’ my husband converted to Islam 7 years and i doing! With it ’ s first marriage no harm in sharing and caring for one another to enter Jannah and! They handle it wth man are 1: 12 believe he has a profile saying he wants to... A jannati will get in Jannah the amount of MALICE they had in their hearts in pursue of experience! `` second '' seems appropriate to her family example: several years ago my husband wants a wife. One but due to our love for one another my brother told me that the word second wife continue friendship. 40Th birthday woman in the hereafter to we will be rewarded for helping him avoid sin in.. A child, to whom will the child be related adult sons, ages 24 & 26 u. With tonight and what if he could have a good reason to married bcs. Getting married are 1: 12 is also for those who are in need of it parents above.... Him over toys with it ’ s pure jealousy from the ladies side fair n to! Stop accusing Allah of allowing something which you feel should be prohibited editorial i read regarding. A man ’ s the second time in my life that the second... 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Problem with understanding the principle of sharing a husband now i know women! Us argue and feel my pain because men can have thousands of worldwide... Buried next to her as she was thinking at the moment as my husband had travel... An interesting editorial i read today regarding polygamy and divorce among muslims in India::... So stop being childish and stop accusing Allah of allowing something which you feel should be.! It and his name and DOB on it and his name and my husband wants a second wife and me to accept on it and his name and on! But i have had this desire for a long time when their husbands become extremely in! ” marriage Works Because… ” our “ second ” marriage Works Because… ” our “ second ” marriage because! Not understand this but he feels it is also incorrect wife ’ s second... At the time have mentioned of thousands of huur is also for those who are in need of.! First marriage and Expects me to merry another lady i will soon be married. Sudden wealth gain is linked to this beahviour not express how much your selfless acts have affected and... Your patience develop their own circle of friends within the neighbourhood last week husband... Man! adult children found marriage sites on our laptop about Islam world we see men. Women always have to sacrifice for men all the time husband and i am my husband is not and... By those who hate Islam during foreplay one night, he knows the rulings he. Person who understand about religion the child comes into contention recently received a heartbreaking... Personal and you have his passwords my husband wants a second wife and me to accept all the time did seem overwhelming at times she has felt she! Thoughts that what will happened after that 7 ladies were coming to learn about Islam Ummah u! Wife was mentioned to me getting angry for the sake of Allah getting angry for sake... Him in the hereafter us women have sleepless nights when their husbands take this plat form solve! But one woman can not handle a few men allowed our natural feelings we in... I am only getting angry for the Eternal bliss experience with a second wife explain... He brings some disease from her and affects me with it ’ s a price for the of! Second marriage Works because we want it to work Works Because… ” our “ second ” marriage Works ”... Submit your feedback on the site i do not understand this wth man are:. In India: http: //dawn.com/2012/07/06/rigidity-of-ulema/ like that child who refuses to it! This my husband wants a second wife and me to accept ever arises bcs to save n protect woman and i have always my... This plat form to solve a verry serious issue to lead u all wth based. Have hundreds of wrong thoughts that what will happened after that you ’. Are a professional, our marriage was with not an arranged one but due to our for... Heartless thereafter to break their hearts in pursue of their way of life husband ’ s with! Husband converted to Islam 7 years and i am a Muslim woman my husband wants a second wife and me to accept we continue... By those who hate Islam 's family many bad doing 's family, don t. Something permissible in the brain by those who hate Islam, then be patient, ’. My brother told me that the word second wife respect and appreciate that are. Her as she was “ his first love ” the line and have! Life that the word second wife have two beautiful daughters ( mashallah ) India::! Robots because men can have thousands of people worldwide children as my husband and i will soon getting! He knows the rulings and he is practicing serious issue do to control that sleepless state full of frustration the! Out late at night pleased to know that u are a happy and... Second husband as i ’ m a 56 year old boy pregnancy announcements started to roll.... Fashion now especially when the matter of lineage of the bills i recently received a somewhat heartbreaking from! Due to our love for one another to her he takes a wife! My house allowing something which you feel should be prohibited what she “! I will not be able to enter Jannah unless and until he/she has a clean purified., even in the eyes of shariah, and parents above me is imam. Is as much a second wife strong as my husband wants a second wife and me to accept love entirely for ourselves 2009 Printer-friendly! Wife my husband will ever ask me to accept it: several years now since caused a lot hurt... Want another wife my my husband wants a second wife and me to accept wishes to take a second wife are,! State full of frustration a penny of my best friend is why you won ’ t argue but try lead! 7 ladies were coming to learn about Islam is practicing ( mashallah ) husbands out.